Confessions of a Grocery Store Therapist: Chips
Ah, yes. Chips. Potato chips to be exact. Such a wide variety! How is one to choose which chips they should buy? The ever classic Lays or should one go with Pringles? A baked chip or a regular? Flavored or plain? A 'dip chip' or not? How is one to choose?!
Apparently this is even harder for a couple. Two people inhabiting the same space. Eating off the same money. They DON'T have money for TWO kinds of chips! However they can't decide! Whose chip preference should reign supreme in their household? Who should have the right to their favored chip? AH! They can't decide! Only one thing to do! Bring in a third party to mediate! Of course!
There's someone now! White dress shirt and black slacks, tan hat and apron sporting the words 'Explore More!', and a waist height cart in front of them. A perfect likeness to Lucy and her 5-cent psychologist stand! Quick! Run to her! The one who will decide which chips to buy!
"Hi! Would you like to try some of Meijer's new True Goodness coffee?" she asks with a bright smile.
Coffee! This is just like a psychologist’s office!
"Actually we don't do coffee." you say.
She blinks but retains her smile, "Alright can I help you find anything then?"
"No," your partner says, "We just want your opinion on something."
She tilts her head, "Ok." she says with some surprise, "What can I do for you?"
"Which chips should we buy?" you blurt, "We only have enough for one! Obviously we should go with the Bugles but this idiot wants Sun chips!"
"They are better for you!" your partner growls, glaring and clutching the green bag of Sun chips.
"I don't want chips for their nutritional value!" you snap, "I just want something to eat with my lunches!"
"Well what am I supposed to eat if you get those disgusting things?!"
The girls smiled a bit, "How much do you have to spend on chips?"
You and your partner both look at the girl, "$5." you both say at once.
She nods and pulls out her phone, "Have you heard of mPerks?" she holds out her phone to you, "They have a bunch of coupons that may save you enough to get both chips." she smiles brightly, "I know how preferences can be. I like Doritos myself but my grandparents usually get plain Lays."
You look at the phone closely and see a coupon that says, '$5 off your grocery purchase!' in light blue letters with a red circle around it. Below it stipulates a price your order must exceed first but looking at your cart you see that you can easily meet that requirement.
"We could both get the chips we want." you say happily looking over to your other half who is slowly relaxing and has a grin on their face. You look at the girl again, "Could you show us how to use that?" you ask pulling out your own phone.
The girl's smile widens, "Certainly."
Apparently this is even harder for a couple. Two people inhabiting the same space. Eating off the same money. They DON'T have money for TWO kinds of chips! However they can't decide! Whose chip preference should reign supreme in their household? Who should have the right to their favored chip? AH! They can't decide! Only one thing to do! Bring in a third party to mediate! Of course!
There's someone now! White dress shirt and black slacks, tan hat and apron sporting the words 'Explore More!', and a waist height cart in front of them. A perfect likeness to Lucy and her 5-cent psychologist stand! Quick! Run to her! The one who will decide which chips to buy!
"Hi! Would you like to try some of Meijer's new True Goodness coffee?" she asks with a bright smile.
Coffee! This is just like a psychologist’s office!
"Actually we don't do coffee." you say.
She blinks but retains her smile, "Alright can I help you find anything then?"
"No," your partner says, "We just want your opinion on something."
She tilts her head, "Ok." she says with some surprise, "What can I do for you?"
"Which chips should we buy?" you blurt, "We only have enough for one! Obviously we should go with the Bugles but this idiot wants Sun chips!"
"They are better for you!" your partner growls, glaring and clutching the green bag of Sun chips.
"I don't want chips for their nutritional value!" you snap, "I just want something to eat with my lunches!"
"Well what am I supposed to eat if you get those disgusting things?!"
The girls smiled a bit, "How much do you have to spend on chips?"
You and your partner both look at the girl, "$5." you both say at once.
She nods and pulls out her phone, "Have you heard of mPerks?" she holds out her phone to you, "They have a bunch of coupons that may save you enough to get both chips." she smiles brightly, "I know how preferences can be. I like Doritos myself but my grandparents usually get plain Lays."
You look at the phone closely and see a coupon that says, '$5 off your grocery purchase!' in light blue letters with a red circle around it. Below it stipulates a price your order must exceed first but looking at your cart you see that you can easily meet that requirement.
"We could both get the chips we want." you say happily looking over to your other half who is slowly relaxing and has a grin on their face. You look at the girl again, "Could you show us how to use that?" you ask pulling out your own phone.
The girl's smile widens, "Certainly."
So, if you have a grocery problem. And you can find the grocery store she works at. Maybe you too, can use the services of The Grocery Store Therapist!
Confessions of a Grocery Store Therapist: Chips: Analysis |
This piece was based on a real interaction between Evangeline Niccum, a Sales Specialist working for ASM at Meijer, and two very real, very opinionated shoppers who just wanted to get the chips they liked. That being said, this is a work of creative non-fiction that began as a simple account of events and turned into a writing experiment. Everything really happened, mPerks is a real thing, this couple was definitely real, and the amusement and (hours later, retelling the story) laughter of said Sales Specialist was real as well.
Confessions of a Grocery Store Therapist: Chips, started off as a narrative from Evangeline’s point of view. After grammar checks and an unenthusiastic reaction from Whitney, Evangeline’s beta, the piece was rewritten to come from the couple’s point of view. With the next revision came the preview paragraph talking about chips, as well as the reference to Charlie Brown after a comment to that effect from Whitney. Whitney agreed that the story sounded much more interesting coming from the customer’s point of view. Revisiting the story after a week the next revision was written. This came after Workshop one where the piece Suffering is Optional was picked apart and the issue of being repetitive in an attempt to not mention gender was brought up. Not wanting to give up on the idea that stories and believable characters could be created without genders hanging in the balance, the story was revised so that all allusions to the couple’s gender was removed. When Workshop two was announced, a last minute polish was done while watching the A-team, resulting in the last line of the piece as a joke. During the Workshop, the piece was praised for believable dialogue and fun references. |